Apology

To those (2) of you that actually read this blog, I apologize for my lack in posting. I haven't had a single night to update since Monday. I promise this weekend I will get back on track!!

Never again....

Remember that time I ended my last post with "next week is going to be fun"? I think I spoke too soon.

Today was super crazy and rough. I didn't like it one bit. It started off at 1:05pm when I checked my phone in the locker room post work out and had 2 voicemails from Mercy. She was freaking out about getting in touch with me because she had to pick up W from school early because she threw up at school twice and she needed me to call her tutor to tell her W wouldn't be coming in today. I somehow knew the last name of her tutor and I looked her up on my blackberry and left her a voicemail. I assured her I would pick up M from school since I was in the neighborhood thinking I would be getting W in an hour, and I said I would take her to her tutor's. This all happened. It was nice because instead of needing to be at school at 2, I didn't need to be there until 3. I spent an hour in the Barnes and Noble cafe across the street drinking a skinny cinnamon dolce latte and reading my book.


This was the end of the relaxation.

I picked up M and took her to her tutor's, no problems. We get home and W is sleeping on the couch in the library, poor little thing. M was being sweet and made a card for her because she felt bad she was sick. Mercy was asking me if I knew anything about what to do for her stomach. She apparently threw up in the hall at their house too. She couldn't keep anything down. I told Mercy she should sip ginger ale and eat saltine crackers. Mercy left to go get these things and I sat in a chair next to W making sure she didn't get sick again. M was really asking for attention and I felt bad I couldn't give it to her but I needed to be by W and M was being too loud.

W woke up not too long after and looked so sick. I felt so bad for her. She looked feverish and hot. Her body was so limp and she looked so sad in the eyes. She could hardy move her head and she was barely speaking. I was really concerned. We took her temperature and she had a fever of 101.5. I called her doctor to ask what I should do and he said I needed to take her to the ER immediately. I thought that was a bit harsh but I guess when children have fevers they escalate more quickly and it can be really dangerous if it keeps rising. Mercy is freaking out and I'm trying to keep her calm and telling her she's going to be fine, we just need to call her parents to get the insurance information. They left me with no insurance cards or information but I didn't even think I would need them. Their mom is in Japan and her dad is in Florida and it was impossible to reach either of them. I tried all 4 of the numbers I was given for the two of them and they all went straight to voicemail. One of them was a Japanese number and I needed M to listen to the voicemail and translate for me. I left them 4 voicemails asking me to call me back as soon as possible because I needed this information before I could take her to the ER.

It was so sad seeing W cry because she didn't want to go to the ER and she wanted Mercy to take her. Mercy wanted me to take her and for her to stay hone with M. Mercy was legitimately freaking out. I was keeping very calm throughout this whole thing and had a clear head about it all but Mercy was making me nervous. Mr. U called back shortly after and said he didn't want me to take her to the ER yet. He told me to give her lots of gatorade and put a Japanese cold patch on her forehead. He said to check back in with him in half an hour to see if the fever went down. In the meantime, her fever was rising and I was getting more nervous about keeping her at home. I got all the information for the ER and was prepared to just take her but I couldn't go against the dad's wishes.

I gave W a little bit of gatorade and some children's motrin to try to bring the fever down.

Then the mom called and said she called the doctor's and that they were expecting us to come in. I got W up and not more than 2 minutes later she threw up all over the floor. I felt so bad for her. She looked pathetic and weak. I thought for sure she had the flu. All the while, M is asking what she should do about her homework and her bath and her dinner and I had to tell her tonight was different and we couldn't go by our normal routine. I told M to just read in her bedroom. I was trying not to ignore her but this was not about her. I was worried about W and Mercy was just panicking.

W and I got in a cab and went to the doctor's office. It was pretty empty yet we waited for what felt like an eternity. She layed down against my body and I could feel the heat radiating off of her. Her neck was so sweaty and I was trying to keep her comfortable and happy. There's something heart-wrenching about a child in pain and not being able to help them. I just wanted to wrap her up in my arms and heal her.

When we got into the office they took her temperature and it had gone up to 102. Shit. Then the doctor gave her a liquid medicine to stop the vomiting and she kept that down.
Then she poured a little bit of coke into a dixie cup and we waited for the bubbles to go away. I was instructed to give her 1 CC of the coke every 30 seconds out of one of those injection thingies. We literally counted 30 seconds every time and I could see her cheering up with every sip of coke. She was so happy to be getting coke and I don't know if it was mental or not but she already looked so much better. Her energy came back and she did a total turn around. She was back to her normal self, going through my purse to find things to play with.

All the while, I was getting e-mails from the mom with her insurance information and asking me to call her with all updates. Mind you, this is all from her Japanese number and I'm not about to call that number from my cell phone. I was e-mailing her on my blackberry and calling the dad to give him the updates and calling Mercy to let her know she was OK so she could stop worrying. All day and night I was making and returning calls to and from her parents with updates. I told her mom I would stay at their house tonight which made Mercy very happy. The doctor said it's not the flu which I was really surprised about. We left the doctor's at 7:30 which is W's bedtime and we went to the pharmacy around the corner to get coke at the doctor's orders and infant tylenol just in case her fever did go back up.

She gave us quite a scare but then she was OK. I ate dinner at their house which Mercy left out for me because she knew I would be starving. Sweet, sweet woman. Then I tucked the girls in and went home to get my stuff, only to come back.

So here I am, in my pj's on a large blow-up air mattress in their library. This feel so strange. I never thought I would find myself in this position.

I have to pat myself on the back and say I think I did a pretty good job of acting like her mother today when I'm only the nanny. It was a good glimpse into the future of parenthood. It was scary but thank goodness she's OK.

M is excited to see me in my pj's. It's like one big slumber party.

Emmy

I don't think I've ever mentioned that the girls both call me Emmy. M asked me if she could call me that the very first day and I had no objections. I think it's pretty cute, actually. No one else calls me that so it's my Nanny name!

Fridays are short days because they leave for their weekend home at 6:30. I can't say I mind this early departure.

I met another nanny today at the school. On Fridays for some reason, they get picked up at their classroom instead of in the lobby where I normally get her. This was my first Friday doing this so I didn't remember how to get to the classroom. Luckily, there was a girl signing in behind me who said she was going there too and would lead the way. She's an actress as well and I wanted to ask her how she was balancing nannying and acting but I didn't get a chance. She was very nice though and I'm sure I'll run into her again. Probably next week.

W was so cute showing me around her hallway and showing me the artwork she did. I think she was self-conscious about her artwork because she would show me a piece of art that she did and then she would see one that was better than hers and say, "oh wait, this is mine", even though I could see the initials on it and knew it wasn't hers.

I'll bet you can take a guess as to where we went after school. Again, W held my hand the whole way there and walked backwards the entire way. I had a very protective moment of W in 7-11 today. When we were picking out her snack, a very rambunctious girl in an ugly fluffy, pink coat came marching up to W and asked if she wanted to have a play date. She was chomping down on a pastry and was getting crumbs all over herself. W did not seem excited right off the bat. Then the mom came over. I had seen this mom in the hallways every day to pick up W. She was the one mother who always seemed a little more frantic and badly dressed. She has stringy, bleached hair and a smoker's skin. She has bad taste in coats, like her daughter, and has a dalmation print scraggly faux-fur coat. So the mom comes over and introduces herself to me and says she's (insert name here)'s mom. I recognized this name right away as the name that W said was the class bully. I was like ooooh, noooo. The bully wants to have a play date with W....absolutely not. Bully's mom asked W if she would like to come over next week for a play date and W shook her head. I could have hugged her right then. The mom was so insistent saying they could pick her up and drop her off, asking what day worked best, etc etc. She asked if she could arrange the play date through me or her mom and I said me, so she gave me her cell phone number. I could not believe this was happening. I can't imagine myself calling her to tell her that W is not available for a play date at all. I left it by saying I would check with her mother and would let her know.

I had a true moment out of 'The Nanny Diaries' today when we got back to their building. I was carrying W's backpack and she ran ahead into the elevator and crouched down in the corner like she always does. When I stepped into the elevator there was a cute guy asking me what floor because the elevator man wasn't there yet. I met my "Harvard cutie" in the elevator, which is where I think she meets her man in the book. He was laughing at W which is a good sign...he likes kids. I hope I run into him again.

When I was putting W's lunch bag away, I found a room that I've never ventured into before. It's very small, probably meant to be a kid's studio or a little playroom, so I explored because the mom wasn't home yet. It was full of antique lamps without the bulbs and antique paintings. I don't know if any of you have seen "An Education" yet (I hope you have because it's amazing), but if you have I hope you know what's running through my head. What are they doing with these antique pieces? They're not being used in their house....

I had a lot of time to kill with the girls today because they had no after school activities and no homework or reading to do with me because they were leaving at 6:30. I basically just had to play with them and give them their bath. Not a bad day. W loves to draw which is good because I love doodling, so we resorted to drawing again. She was so cute because she brought out the huge box of markers and she was pretending that they were all sleeping. We had to "wake up" the markers one by one to use them. It was pretty darling. W has a calendar where you're supposed to draw something for each month representing what the month is. For February she drew a lot of hearts and butterflies. I asked her and M if they would be my Valentine this year and they said yes. Not only do I have ONE valentine, I have 2! I wish Valentine's Day wasn't on a Sunday this year because I would have a lot of fun bringing them cute stuff.

M got to go to the NYC Transit Museum today on a field trip and I just happened to have gone there last week. I thought it was really neat how you could go down into the subway and walk into the subway cars from throughout the decades. M said she thought the museum was boring. I loved it!

My roommate knows a few phrases in Tagalog (the native language in the Philippines) so he taught me one I could say to Mercy. I told her "Salamot Po" which means "thank you very much". She was very touched that I learned that for her and she bowed her head and returned the phrase.

I gave the girls their bath fairly early on because there was nothing else to do. While I was blow-drying their hair the girls started singing "Do Re Mi" so I sang along, naturally, and we went through the song several times through. It was a Mary Poppin's moment.

Speaking of Mary Poppins, I received 3 of my 4 nanny books from amazon.com. I got "Searching for Mary Poppins: Women write about the relationship between mothers and nannies", "And Nanny Makes Three: Mothers and nannies tell the truth about work, love, money, and each other", and "White House Nannies: True tales from the other department of Homeland Security". That last one I can thank my best friend, Suzanne, for. She recommended that one and I went on amazon to find it and ended up buying 3 more books. I'm really excited to get started on these.

I always pick out their pj's for after the bath or in this case, their clothes. They were going to be in the car to drive to their weekend house so I gave them comfy clothes to wear. They both had simple long-sleeved shirts. They put them on, no problems. Later, Mercy came in and saw that they didn't have undershirts on underneath. Mercy said it was their dad's rule that they needed undershirts on at all times. I don't understand that one but whatever.

The dad came home earlier than he normally does and I was surprised to see him come into the bedroom where we all were and give them kisses. It was the most affectionate I had ever seen him with them. I thought, maybe this family is pretty functional when they're all together. They do spend the weekend together as the 4 of them, after all. He requested that M do her 20 minutes of reading with me before they left and she was not excited. I sat down on her bed and she read laying down with her legs draped over my legs. W sat nearby drawing. It felt like a family.

I didn't realize this but the mom is leaving for Japan on Saturday morning and is going to be there through all next week and a few days the following week. She typed up a very detailed schedule for me and Mercy. W's schedule was in green ink, M's schedule in pink. This coordinated with their bath towels. Very clever. Then the dad is going to be in Europe for a few of those days that she's also gone, so it will be just me and Mercy. I cannot wait. She sat me down and went over the schedule with me to make sure I knew everything going on. They have a busy schedule next week between play dates, ballet, tutoring, and T tutoring. The mom gave me the class directories for M and W and told me for the play dates that I could look up the family to find their address and their phone number. This week is going to feel more like parenting than ever.

She gave me an envelope with $200 in it for the week and a half which is meant for transportation (read: taxis). I don't think we're going to use it all and I wish I could just keep the change, but I don't see that happening.

Next week is going to be fun....stay tuned.

Saisho Wa Gu!

I have to start this entry off with the story behind the title of this entry. I have finally mastered how to say "Rock, Paper, Scissors" in Japanese. They played it in the car the first day I was with them, and I was enthralled. I wanted to learn it right away but I couldn't get a grasp of the words and I could not learn it for the life of me. Every so often I would ask the girls if they could say it again so I could learn it. This usually happened in the bathtub- I would be sitting on the toilet lid next to them and testing my Rock, Paper, Scissors ability. They would giggle non-stop and make fun of my accent. M once said, "once you practice it a lot your accent will get better". She called me out! Well, I am proud to say that although I have not mastered the accent, I now know the whole chant. I have no idea how to type it so you'll just have to trust me. But next time you're with me in person, ask me to play Rock, Paper, Scissors with you in Japanese and I will kick your butt :)

I really love these girls. I could never replace their mother and I know that I'm not, but it's starting to feel as if the girls are needing me more. Even though that's sad, I sort of like it. Today was the second day in a row where W came out of school smiling to see me. She held my hand the whole way to 7-11 which was unprecedented. One may think it's weird I notice these things but I think it shows a huge jump in our relationship. She was so sweet and cooperative in 7-11, not whining when I told her she could only have 1 pack of gummies instead of 2, and not running away from me like she used to do.

Even though I complain all the time about the mom and about the family situation, I'm actually pretty lucky because it could be a lot worse. I got 2 e-mails on my blackberry while I was on the bus on my way to pick up W, and they were both from the nanny agency I'm a member of. I joined this nanny agency and then got this job right beforehand, so I haven't actually used the agency for anything yet but I get the e-mails even still. Anywaaaay, one of the e-mails was saying this family needs a nanny who can be there all day and who doesn't mind doing housework on top of it. I can't imagine watching these girls AND cleaning the house at the same time. I pick up after them all the time but that's the extent of cleaning. The e-mail said the dad in the family is away on business trips a lot so they need someone who can assume a lot of the responsibility. That made me sad that the dad is never home. Then I got another e-mail about a woman who needed a sitter an hour and a half from then and who had an NYU ID. Well, ma'am, what are you going to do with your son in an hour and a half when you haven't found a sitter? I just can't believe that parents leave it up to such last minute.

I also got a text on the bus from the mother of my family saying that she and her husband are going out tonight and she said she cooked pasta that I would just need to reheat. Wait, rewind....SHE cooked the pasta?? I have a really hard time believing that...

W and I were finishing up a necklace that she was making for her mom out of colorful wooden beads when the mom came in and said she had a visitor coming. This visitor was a guy who came to assess all the doors and handles in their house, because the mom had made a list of each door that was having a problem, and let me tell you, these were hardly problems. Not problematic enough to call for getting the entire door replaced! They're replacing every door in the house almost because of a knob that's hard to turn or something lame like that. The mom told me she was expecting a delivery from the back door and that if the doorbell rang I should get it since she was going to be occupied with the handy man. The doorbell rang and I went to receive the package, and it was her dry cleaning....not just any dry cleaning....a Valentino dress. Valentino. Not fair.

W and I played on our own for awhile, playing hide and seek or playing with markers or making jewelry. She was fun to play with today again because she said "yes". She was telling me a story about how her mom once yelled at kids for being too loud in the park at night time because they were keeping W up. W said, "see? I told you she's strict". That was the first time I heard one of the girls call their mom out on being harsh. M, I think, feels the brunt more than W because she has tons of homework and W doesn't.

M came home later because she met with her tutor today. The mom told me in the text that M had to finish her homework before bath so I helped her with her homework while Mercy entertained W. Thank goodness for Mercy. While I was playing with M in the bath, Mercy was helping W make spiders out of silly putty to scare me with because W knows how much I HATE spiders. Isn't she sweet?

W had her bath time earlier which was awesome because I told her she needed to take a quick bath, and she washed her hair and conditioned it in 22 seconds. I'm not so sure how clean she actually got but I don't care because I was so happy she was so quick. M got a very quick bath too and then before I knew it, the mom was gone and I was left to handle the evening alone....and with Mercy.

When the mom left, she didn't even say bye to the girls. She stopped in the doorway of W's room where I was drying their hair and she was wearing a black dress with feathery and sparkly sleeves. She looked like an exquisite bird. She said, "I expect you to keep to your bed times tonight", and with a whisk of her dress around the corner, she was gone. No kisses on the foreheads and "I love you's". The girls either didn't notice the lack of love or didn't care, because then they got pretty hyper for dinner. I think they were taking advantage of the fact that their mom wasn't there so they thought they could act out more than normal....and I actually let them.

Tonight was the best because I sat at the head of the table in between the 2 girls where the mom normally sits, and I had a big mug of coffee (Starbucks via again) and just sat there like the mom does. W was quick to inform me that I can't put my elbows on the table. She showed me the proper way- by folding your hands and placing just your hands on the table. I should have guessed that. From where I could sit at the head, I had the best view: I could see the windows to my left in the dining room with the city lights shining through, but then I could see into the dark living room with it's massive windows wrapping around all the walls, and I could make out the city lights faintly through the curtains. I would love to have that view every night.

There was some pasta left over in the pot and Mercy asked if I wanted it. Have I mentioned that I love her? So I got to eat real food for dinner! M had cantaloupe for dessert which I snuck some pieces of, and W had squeezy yogurt, her favorite. I even got my own dessert. I had gotten a Greek yogurt with pomegranate seeds at 7-11, so I ate that for dessert. Then when M saw that she wanted a yogurt and W wanted another squeezy yogurt. Normally I would have said no to 2 desserts but they had been good that day and I was in particularly good mood since we were home alone.

When I got the spoons for the yogurt I got a generic spoon, a silver spoon that I would use in my kitchen. W said, "you can't use those! You have to use the nice silverware!" She pulled out the next drawer which was full of Tiffany's silverware. Yeah, they use Tiffany's silverware at dinner every night. Whomp. I asked how come I had to use those instead and she said, "Mom says they're more presentable". I just can't understand how it matters what's more presentable or not when there's no company over.

Mercy was a hoot because she saw a notice from M's school that M was going on a field trip tomorrow and that they needed to bring a bag lunch. Mercy was like, "Mrs. U didn't tell me about this! Do I need to do this?" She didn't know what to pack them and was freaking out about bringing the wrong things even though it just said they can't have candy or soda or peanuts. She made M a roll with butter and cheese on it. It was...cute looking. I was helping her to figure out what to pack and what to put it in because she was so frantic about it, which is really funny because normally she's so on top of everything!

The girls gave me a tough time about brushing their teeth but then it was smooth sailing. I read to W first like I always do while M read to Mercy in the other room. I put her down, knowing fully well that she would not be going to sleep any time soon. Then I got my half hour time to read Harry Potter with M. I checked up on W, was not sleeping, so I turned out her light at 8:00pm. Then I went into the nanny room where Mercy was ironing. She was sleeping there again since the parents were gone and she was still working. She's a slave horse.

I ended up staying in that room talking to Mercy for half an hour. It was the best. We talked about her kids and all her grandchildren, and the family she used to work for and how long she's worked for this family. I learned she's from the Philippines. She asked what I did and I told her I was an actress. She got all excited and said, "have you heard of Lea Salonga?" I told her my room mate did a show in Asia with her and that they were friends and that Lea is very nice. She was very excited about that. She told me the family she worked for previously to the U's, she was with for 9 years. She was with them from the time the boy was 6 months old to when he was 9 years old. She slept there every night and she was the one in charge of waking up in the middle of the night when the baby cried to feed him and rock him. She said she worked 24 hours there and didn't get paid as much as she does here. I can't imagine. She said the mom was very lazy and did nothing but would order Mercy to do everything.

I asked questions about the U's because I have no idea what the parents do. As soon as I brought up the parents, she started talking in a whisper as if it was top secret and we weren't supposed to know. She said that Mrs. U's parents bought them this apartment in NY. She said they own a school that has locations in Japan, Hawaii, Italy, and in the US. I suppose they are the main source of income for their family. Mrs. U, however, is the president of this school and she makes $2 million a year. Mercy was like, don't tell them you know this! I'm not supposed to talk about this. Mr. U owns his own real-estate business.

Mercy was going on too about their weekend house in Purchase and how amazing it is. She said it's 5x the size of their apartment here which I honestly cannot fathom. She said Mrs. U's bathroom there is incredible. I told her I thought her bathroom HERE was incredible! Mercy said, "oh, this is nothing. You would be amazed".

I kissed each girl on the forehead before I left and said "sweet dreams" and I said a warm goodnight to Mercy because now I feel much closer to her, and I crept out with a full heart.

What's that big lump?

I know I said I wouldn't talk about my personal life, but I have to mention this...I went to that audition this morning that I mentioned I was going to. I got myself up at 6:00am and got there at 7:00am, only to find the door to the theatre locked. So I waited outside in the freeeezing cold for an hour and a half but was so proud of myself because I was 2nd in line!! I signed up 2nd on the non-union list, and at 10:10am they announced that non-unions needed to come back at 2:30pm.

Well crap. I have to pick up W at 2:00pm. There goes my whole morning.

So that's how my day started.

I was really surprised that today W was in a good mood to see me and she actually held my hand as we walked down the street! She didn't complain about not getting a snack from 7-11 today but that's probably because I told her we could get a snack at ballet. She always gets fruit snacks. The blue packet. The ballet studio didn't reek today, thank god. There was this adorable pudgy, blond girl shoving a vanilla cupcake into her mouth, her blue eyes wide as anything I've ever seen, and I couldn't help but grin. What is it about pudgy little girls in leotards and tights that is so cute?

After W's class she got her ritual fruit snacks and I got a bag of wheat thin crisps because I was starving. For the first time, W wanted to stay after and watch the adult class. The "adult" class was really a teenage class, consisting of 2 guys and 1 girl. W kept saying she liked the girl the best. I asked her if she wanted to keep doing ballet until she was as big as them and she said no. I asked her why and she said because she didn't want a boy teacher (the teacher was male). When I asked her if she would keep doing it if she had a girl teacher she said yes. There was a video of a ballet playing in the lobby and W seemed entranced by it, so I asked her if she would want to go to a ballet performance with me and she said yeah. That's my new mission.

I didn't mind staying after because I love watching other people in class and critiquing. Out of the blue, W says, "wait a minute, what's that lump?" referring to the male's bulge in his tights. I pretended that I didn't hear her because I did NOT want to have to explain that. Children say the darndest things....

Maybe my favorite moment of the day: W asked if she could have one of my crackers so I gave her one, and she offered me a fruit snack in exchange which was very generous of her. Then she liked it and wanted another, so we swapped snacks and stood and watched the ballet class, occasionally eating out of the others bag. I don't know why but it felt so comfortable and cute.

Finally, I said we needed to head home because it was getting late. We got a female taxi driver which I think I've had only once before. W leaned in and whispered, "I didn't know there were girl taxi drivers". I laughed out loud for a little while. Then the driver slammed on the brakes and I instinctively put my arm across W's lap. There was an old man standing in between the two lanes of traffic. The driver then mumbles, "stupid, stupid, stupid....old man, stupid driver". W and I got a few giggles out of that one. In the taxi, W said, "can you do me a favor? Can you eat all the blueberry ones?" (referring to her GRAPE fruit snacks). I said, "why? You don't like them?" and she shook her head. So I said "aaaalright" and did her a huge favor and ate all the grape ones :)

When we got home there was no one there...a rarity but a beautiful one. We started on her bead necklace right away which she was making for her mom. Then she wanted to get her watch which her mom had told her a few days prior was in her safe. So W leaves the room and comes back saying she needs help getting her watch. I was unaware that would entail going into her mom's closet, knocking off the papers from her vanity, and reaching high up to get to her safe which didn't even have a code to open it. I was so scared we were going to get caught so I tried to hurry up the process so we could get out of her closet. We didn't find the watch so I told her it was probably getting cleaned. I didn't find the watch but I did find tons of red Cartier boxes in her closet. *sigh* To be able to wear Cartier. There was also a box that was rotating with 2 mens watches and a woman's watch encrusted in diamonds that had a code to open it. My favorite thing of all was the other closet I opened that was racks and racks of sexy shoes. It looked like what Carrie's closet would look like. Just beautiful.

Then W showed me her Swarovski crystal jewelry box. Mm hmm. Swarovski. It was stunning and sparkled in the sunlight that was pouring through her windows.

I made another Starbucks via (I'm really liking it more and more) which made my 3rd coffee of the day. Before I knew it it was bath time and M came home just in time. We had our bath/hair drying routine and then dinner. My dinner was goldfish. Their dinner was asparagus tempura and meatballs with carrots, onions and mushrooms. Guh.

I didn't read to W tonight which was probably for the best because I would have fallen asleep. Instead, I helped M with her homework and listened to her read for 20 minutes, then read HP for 15 minutes instead of the normal 30. That's also for the best because I was nodding off again during the reading of HP. They both had on the cutest pj's tonight: glow-in-the-dark cupids!

Today was another amazingly good day (for the most part) with a lot of laughs involved.

Also, it was a good day because it was the first time I saw the dad make any effort to say hello to his daughters. He came into their room and they walked up to him and he rubbed the tops of their heads. Maybe that's the most affectionate they ever get. Anyway, it was an improvement from what I've seen.

I hugged the girls goodnight and will do it all again tomorrow...minus the waking up at 6am part.

Thank Heaven for 7-11

This is going to be a shorter entry (I know, you're like "thank god") because I'm waking up in 5 hours to go to an audition FINALLY!!! We're going to see how balancing auditions and picking up W from school on time works out. All I have to say is, it HAS to work out.

Today was another good day with them. I don't know how I keep getting good days with them but I think they're getting better. It was actually nice to see them today having not seen them for 3 days. I was worried about how this day was going to go because before I even left the house to pick up W I got a text from the mother saying...and I quote...."E, T will not come until next Wednesday. Pls make sure M does her homework and reading with u before bath. Bath has to be done by 6:00. They like playing in the bath tub but not more than 10 mins. See u later!"

Yikes.

I get W from school and she has that same expression on her face that she does every time she sees me at school that's a combination of, I was hoping it would be mom today but it's you, and, another day to do what? On our walk to 7-11 today a little girl screamed out her name and it was her friend who was walking a good ways behind us. The babysitter introduced herself and we found out we were all going to 7-11! I'm so glad I met another babysitter who's really nice and whom was a good distraction from the everyday routine of going to 7-11 and me getting annoyed at W wanting everything. They invited us over to their house to play for an hour and I was really excited at the thought of going somewhere other than home right away. I called the mother to ask but she didn't pick up, so homeward bound we were, but we discussed doing it on Thursday instead. The mother called me back while we were in the taxi and I asked her if we could get the girls together on Thursday after school and she said, "oh thank you, E, for making a play date with her!" and I wondered, was that something I was supposed to do all along? If so, I had no idea.

In the taxi, W asked me if I had a bully in my school. I told her about my kindergarten bully, Marqueesha, who used to suck on the tassels on my nap time mat and it drove me nuts and she knew it. I asked her if she had a bully in her class and she said yeah, and continued to tell me the bad things she does. She tugs on her jacket and throws her backpack in the hall, and I wanted to tell W to smack her in the face and tell her to leave her alone. I couldn't exactly say that, but I found myself having a really hard time explaining how to react to a bully and telling her what she should do. It felt like the perfect opportunity for me to really teach her a good life lesson and say something deep, but I was at a loss. I asked her if she told the teachers about her and she said, "yeah but they're always so busy". That made me really sad. I told her that this girl was doing these things because she wants a bad sort of attention and the best thing to do is to ignore her. I also told her to say, "I don't like when you do that, stop please" but then I thought that would make her seem like a wuss and would get her picked on more. Bullies are a tough category.

In the meanwhile, I just ordered 4 books on amazon about relationships between nannies and mothers. I'm really excited. Maybe one of those books will have some good insight on how to explain bullies to a 5 year-old.

W was really cooperative today and played with me very nicely. I am proud to announce that she put her clothes in her hamper without me even asking. I was so happy about that. She got a new jewelry making set with wooden beads so we spent some time organizing the beads into compartments by colors and shapes. If I had a suggestion she would say, "that's a good idea, E" or she would say, "I have an idea...". It was so fun playing with her today because she offered many good ideas and listened to mine.

So yeah, playtime was really nice, and then M came home. They drew together and were playing very nicely with each other which they normally do. W and I continued to make Valentine's day crafts from her crafts book. Today we made a friendship necklace which actually turned out pretty sweet. She gave the other half to M. I sort of wanted it. I have to say, I've been pretty proud of myself for being so crafty lately. Between the coloring books and the Valentine's Day crafts, I've been super duper.

Fast-forward to dinner: I was smart enough to get 2 mini bagels from a bagel shop before I picked up W and I brought an apple from home, so I actually had a "decent" dinner tonight. I sat in their room and cleaned up in between bites. When I did go check in on the girls at the dinner table, M and W were fighting over where I would sit. That was touching. I didn't really like their dinner tonight so there was nothing I wanted to pick at. Good thing for my apple and baby bagels!

I was so tired that I legit FELL ASLEEP while I was reading Harry Potter to M. My eyes were rolling back and I was slurring my speech and reading the wrong words. I honestly have no idea what I read. I was just reading sounds on the pages.

Back to normal....

Sweetiepie

Today was the shortest/weirdest/most uncomfortable/relaxing days I've had babysitting.

The mother picked up W from school so I met them at their apartment. I found out that I was going to be accompanying W to a birthday party and we were leaving in an hour. Yay! I love birthday parties! I love getting to get out of the house for a whole 2 hours! Picking out her outfit for the party was a very big ordeal. Her mother had her own opinions on what she should wear and ultimately picked out what she was to wear. It was a pressed, creme-colored long-sleeved shirt with a ruffle down the front that matched her creme-colored chiffon skirt with a gold design on the hem. It was an Italian designer's line for children and it was gorgeous. She looked like a ballerina in a tutu. I noticed from going through most of her dresses and skirts in her closet that the majority of her clothes are designer. I don't even want to think about how much her "comfy" skirt cost, her "comfy" skirt being the one she changes into for playtime. Ugh.

She snuck a pink lipgloss with sparkles into her coat pocket to bring with her since that was the only make-up she was allowed to wear. The mother was accompanying us to the venue in their private car, and then I was to stay with W at the party while the mother went off and did who knows what, and then we would be picked up at 5:30 from the party. Let me explain how this reallly went down....


The mother did, in fact, drive with us to the party. As the three of us stepped into the elevator, the doors were about to close and the mother goes, "Emma, present!" and I ran back in to retrieve the birthday girl's present. Why I was supposed to be the one in charge of that, I can only assume, but I felt like I was in major nanny mode at that point. The car pulled up to let us in and I sat in the backseat with W while the mother sat in front. I learned later, that the mother (or the one with the money who is hiring the car) likes to sit in the back. I suppose to have more privacy, but I wasn't aware of this so I hopped in the backseat with W assuming the mom would want the front seat. Next time, I will offer her the back.

The taxi ride was sad because W had been trying to ask her mother since we stepped in the elevator where her watch was and her mother was blatantly ignoring her to type something away in her blackberry. The mom would tell her to hush and W would keep trying to ask and the mother kept her nose shoved in her blackberry. I kept trying to tell W that we would find her watch when we got back to their house. I was telling her all the places I thought it was, but if mommy wasn't listening to her, it didn't matter what I said. W's face grew long and her eyes looked sad and she stopped trying to ask and looked longingly out the window. This was a moment straight out of "The Nanny Diaries" and I suddenly felt bad for wanting any of those same situations so I could compare it to that. I had this maternal urge to stroke her hair and make her feel better. I felt so bad for W. Then I started humming "Inch worm, inch worm..." and she joined in. It was as if we had a secret bond with that song because we were singing it together yesterday. I also winked at her when she pulled out her lipgloss because she knew her mom wouldn't want her to bring it.

Back to the drama- when we got in the car, the mother gave the driver the address and showed it to him on a piece of paper. Forty-five minutes later....the driver took us to Greenwich ST instead of Greenwich AVE. The mother finally realized that the driver did not understand which Greenwich we were going to and reiterated that they were to go to Greenwich AVE and that he went to ST. I wish she had just said it that friendly.... ohhhhh no. She blew up at him calmly (I know that sounds like an oxymoron) but she went off saying how "this is not right. The party started already and we are late and I had stuff I needed to do after we dropped them off. This is why I wrote it down for you. You need to pay more attention. This is just wrong" and she kept going and going. It felt so uncomfortable. The driver did mess up but I felt bad for him.

Meanwhile, W is passed out in the backseat curled up with her face smushed against the leather seat, her chiffon tutu peaking out from underneath her robin egg blue winter coat, her black mary janes perched against the car door. She was exhausted and looked so young and sweet. Just a 5 year-old girl who just wanted to go to a birthday party and didn't care about directions.

She woke up complaining she was really hot and her forehead was all sweaty. I took off her winter coat and gave her a piece of paper to make a fan out of. Shortly after that we arrived at the party. I thought the party was going to be at the girl's house- nope, it was at a really cute restaurant called Sweetiepie. It was reminiscent of Serendipity but was for little girls (and boys, I guess). It was decorated in pink and had huge lollipops in jars by the windows. It was really cute. My favorite thing was the bathroom door had a little door for the kids to enter through.

So I took her inside to the back room where the party was but we were half an hour late. They had just sat down to eat so I tried to get W settled somewhere with her friends. The mother had intended for me to stay at the party with her, and so had I! But the mother of the birthday girl said, "Ok, well I think she's fine from here. You can go now". I was like, "okkkkk...." I already had my coat unzipped and my bag on the floor because I was preparing to stay, but there really wasn't room for me and there were no other nannies there. So I had an hour to kill to walk around the West Village before having to go back at 5:30 to pick her up. I really can't complain about this because I was getting paid to go to Starbucks and to Barnes and Noble. I got a skinny cinnamon dolce latte, my new favorite drink (but not anymore because it was $5!!), and perused Barnes and Noble for good books.

I went back to the party at 5:30 and was waiting amongst lots of little people running around my ankles with balloons in their hands and their faces painted, and I wanted to get the hell out of there. All of the mothers had come to pick up their kids and the room was a clusterf**k. Then W's mother appears! That was very smart on her end to drop her off with me because we were late but to come inside when all the mothers were there to make sure W thanked the parents. The mother asked W if she thanked the parents and W said yes, and then the mother looked at me and said, "did she??" and I had to say, "I don't know"....I wasn't there!!

The mother asked me to take out her goody bag and her balloon to the car while she was saying goodbyes, but I couldn't find the car. I paced back and forth across the street looking for the same silver car with the driver from earlier and I could not find him. Then he appeared out of nowhere so I put her things in the back seat and waited outside for them to come out. THEN, the mother pulls on me that they're driving straight from the party to their weekend house in Purchase. Ummmm.....so it's 5:30 and I'm going home?! She offered to drop me off at the subway station (thanks, that's so kind of you) and so they did. She said that they take the west end highway to get to Purchase, so I said, "oh that's funny, I actually live off of the west end highway, but I wouldn't want to inconvenience you by making you get off" and she said "yes". So they drop me off at the subway station at West 4th St, so instead of the half hour subway commute I would have had from their house, I now have an hour commute because I'm in the Village. It was just all so bizarre. As I was getting out of the car the mom told me that Monday is Martin Luther King Day so they don't have school, so I don't need to work until Tuesday! This is nice that I have Monday off, but that means I'm not getting paid for Monday and I missed 2 hours worth of a paycheck today.

Hmph.

Well, here's to a 3 day weekend!

Never Eat Snow White

Did I ever mention that the family owns an apartment in Hawaii? And they go every winter? And Mercy goes with them? And gets PAID to go??

Yeah, I just found that out.

I thought W was going to be very cranky all day because the second I met her at school she started whining and being really hard to move, but then she became an angel for the rest of the day. I told her I wanted to give her a gold star because she was being so good. I think she was just super tired. She must have been tired because when I suggested getting a snack from home today instead of 7-11 she said, "...OK". I was shocked.

In the taxi, with her weary head leaning against the back of the seat, she asked me, "Emma, how do you make money?" I asked if she meant me personally or people in general. She wanted to know how people in general go about making money. I told her they have jobs and their job pays them money for doing a good job. She said, wait this doesn't make sense, how do they get the jobs? I explained interviews and resumes to her, and explained that college is good for figuring out what you want to be when you're grown up, and that helps you decide what job you're going to have. I asked her if she knew what she wanted to be and she said, "I think a teacher's the best profession" and I told her I thought that was a wonderful profession. I told her I thought for a long time about being a teacher and that I still wanted to be. She said, "so why don't you quit your job and be one?" I told her that would mean me leaving her and her sister because right now that's my job. She paused for a long time and said ...."you can come visit us!"

That was cute but once we were back at the apartment and I ushered her quietly into her bedroom to change her clothes so as not to disturb her mother in her private yoga lesson in the other room, I realized I was just back to the everyday routine at their house and it felt boring again. I know the routine- it hardly ever changes. I know that when they're getting undressed for their bath, they're just going to throw their clothes on the floor and I'll bend down and pick them up and put them in the hamper. I know that once W gets out of the bath, she'll run to the right side of her bed flinging her towel behind her, then crouch down into her towel and become a turtle. These things should be comforting like most routines are for me, but this one gets tedious and old.

Today was actually another really good day with them though. The mother left to pick up M and take her to her tutor for a good while into the afternoon, so it was just me and W again left to play her imaginary nurse/mother game where she dictates everything my character does. She's very imaginative but the game becomes tiring for me very quickly when I'm just doing everything and saying everything she tells me to. I don't think I can pretend to be flying on a plane and throw up in my hands anymore. The only thing keeping me awake during this role playing game was the abundant amount of sunshine coming through the double windows in her room. It's another one of my favorite things about their apartment- the sunlight on sunny days. I don't even need to turn the lights on it's so bright.

The other thing that kept me awake was my Starbucks via that I'm so grateful for that I bought. I had a big-ass mug of Starbucks via and I pulled the shades higher and I didn't pass out.

We only did her activity book for a little while because she got bored. Her book is too easy for her. She's learning North, East, South and West right now. I gave her an anagram to help her remember the directions: Never Eat Snow White. I think that's pretty kid-friendly. She's remembering her directions! Hey, whatever works, right?

I gave her her bath then which was more mellow because she wasn't taking it with her sister, but I had more fun because I got to play. She listened when I asked her to bathe or wash her hair- normally that takes quite awhile. She brought home a book from the library about making crafts for Valentine's Day, and I read her the introduction from the toilet lid while she was in the bath. We went through all the different crafts we could make and decided which ones we wanted to make. I told her I would ask her mom if we could go after school one day to pick up the supplies. She seemed really excited at that prospect. We played with a Barbie and a naked Barbie knock-off and pretended that the mermaid one was giving the human lessons in swimming like a mermaid. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone she was a mermaid though because her dad would be really mad at her and take away her mermaid tail. It was pretty much The Little Mermaid but more creative. It was looking at her in the bath today that I realized she looks just like the little girl, Patty, in one of my favorite childhood movies, "Christmas Eve on Sesame Street". She has a really sweet face.

When she gets out of the bath it takes me coming up with different games to get her to get in her pj's. Today I played "this little piggie" with her toes and she loved that. I started singing "Inch worm, inch worm, measuring the marigolds...."....not sure why, it just came in to my mind. Then she perked up and asked if I knew this song, "Inch by inch, row by row, we're gonna make this garden grow....". Now, OF COURSE I know that song! I used to LOVE that song when I was a kid! So I got all excited but couldn't remember the lyrics, so she ran around her room looking for the booklet that had the lyrics in it. She was so excited when she found it. We sang the lyrics together while I dried her hair. It was a very sweet moment. Then we sang "You Are My Sunshine" and I decided that I want a girl who will sing with me.

M came home shortly after that. I asked her how her day was and she said, "not good. not good". I put on sad face and said "why not??" and she came up and put the palm of her hand on my cheek and said, "not because of you, Emmy, not because of you". I forgot to mention that she calls me Emmy and I don't mind a bit. She loves reassuring me of how nice I am and how I could never do anything to put her in a bad mood. I'm not even concerned about that! She's an extremely thoughtful girl.

M finished her calendar project while I dried HER hair, then it was dinner time right away. I didn't bring anything for dinner tonight so I was starving when I left, even more so than usual. During dinner I cleaned up the table covered in colored pencils and notebook pieces of paper, and washed their dishes. After dinner T came over for M, and W and I had awhile together before it was her bedtime. Her mom surprised us by bringing in a whole stack of colorful tissue paper, white paper plates, and doilies. W had asked her earlier if we could get supplies for these projects, and she actually had them at the house! She sat down with us for a minute and said she used to make these things back before she had kids because she had a lot more time on her hands. For a minute, I caught a glimpse of her normalcy and what her life was like before she had 2 children.

We were so excited and spent the next 45 minutes making valentines crafts. We didn't have all the supplies the book called for so I got creative and we made our own version of the Valentine suncatcher. I was very proud of myself :) W had a lot of fun and hung it up in her bathroom. She was proud of her work when she normally judges her work. It was a nice change in the everyday routine and we bonded over it. Who cares if Valentine's Day isn't for another month? While she was drawing snowflakes (that she learned how to draw from me) on the doily for her suncatcher, she said, "I wish I never had to grow up". I think it's funny that kids think once they hit a certain age they can't act like that anymore. I was explaining to her that I act like a kid all the time and that you never need to lose that.

We still had time to read the fairy books (oh boy) after craft time, and I told her I would get more supplies over the weekend so we could continue to make these for Valentine's Day. I also hope I remember to bring her bubbles tomorrow. I told her I would bring her bubbles.

I put her to bed and then had 20 minutes to read with M. She always hugs me after T leaves as if she's letting me know that she hasn't betrayed me. We read Harry Potter, and as I was walking out and saying goodnight, she said "Love ya!" I smiled widely and said, "I love ya too!"

And I do. I love these kids. Even though sometimes I can't stand them.....

You're pure-blooded, dude

Wednesday...one of my favorite days because I get to take W to ballet class. We didn't have time for 7-11 today because we had to jump in a cab and get to ballet. Oh my goodness, the second we walked in the studio I almost gagged from the stench. It REEKED of BO. I don't know how, since these are children taking classes and you wouldn't think they would acquire so much sweat in their armpits, but I guess they do. They need to start telling the 5 year-olds to wear deodorant, it was so bad.

I got her changed into her sweet pink leotard and got her into class first. Then right away, I ran downstairs and across the street to Starbucks to get a skinny hazelnut latte, and ran back up to the stinky studio. I sat on the bench outside her class, latte in one hand, "Nanny Returns" in the other, and felt just like one of those mothers. The only exception was that they were standing with their Starbucks and talking to one another about their children. I actually met another mother today! In the locker room, we were both kneeling on the floor getting our little girls into their jackets, and W knew the other little girl and said hi, so I introduced myself to the mom. This is the start of me forming relationships with the mothers! I knew this day would come....

I have to admit, I'm getting really used to taking taxis everywhere. The one we got in after ballet class had Tinkerbell mats on the floor!! That was the coolest taxi I've been in so far. I'm especially enjoying having a doorman who opens the door for me and takes the bags from me. I'm always extremely grateful and say "thank you" a hundred times because it feels so weird to have these simple things done for me. I feel awkward letting someone else hold my bag which is not that heavy. I even feel weird having someone else push the elevator button for me.

When we got home M was already there, standing in her undies which was really funny. Mercy had already started the bath- they were getting bath time early today! The mother wanted M to finish her bath early so she would have time to work on her calendar project with me before her new tutor came. The tutor, (we will call her T), is a young woman like me, very nice, and has a very high-pitched voice. M was getting really nervous about starting with a tutor and was worried she wouldn't be nice. I gather M has had several tutors before, her current one included. She does not like them because she finds them boring. I convinced her that this one would be different. M asked me if T was pure-blooded, and I said, "you mean, the opposite of Muggle-blooded?" She said, "yeah, ya know, someone with good blood". I said, "yes, I'm sure she is." I asked her if I was pure-blooded, and M said, "you're pure-blooded, dude. Mom wouldn't have hired you if you weren't", so I assured her that her mom wouldn't have hired T if she wasn't pure-blooded as well. That seemed to make her happy.

W got out of the bath first, as she always does, and assumed her post-bath position as a turtle, wrapper up in her towel looking like a burrito. I rub her down until she's dry and then she get into pj's, followed by M. We have this routine DOWN. I blow-dryed their hair while singing "Someone To Watch Over Me", my new favorite song to sing now-a-days.

Then we colored, me in the Disney princess coloring book, W making a map key of her room, and M in her calendar school project. I'm having too much fun coloring these Disney princesses. M and W have made it clear that they do not like princesses. They don't like them because they pine after boys and are whiny and spoiled. I was relieved to hear this. This means they won't act like that when they're older. Phew!

I taught them the phrase "no offense" while we were coloring. I said it for some reason and this led to M asking what it meant, and then started a "no offense" battle back and forth. They both love finding opportunities to say it now. W will say, "Emma do you like Cinderella?" I'll say, "yes, I love Cinderella", and W will say, "I don't, no offense!" with great enthusiasm. A lot of times W will use it totally incorrectly and I'll laugh and say, "you don't need to say after everything you say". She'll try and make up situations in which she can say it. It's so funny. I'm glad I'm teaching them something. I wanted to teach them "my bad" but I don't think the mother would like that one very much.

W looks up to M very much. She copies M's opinion on everything. W will say she likes something and M will say she doesn't, then W will straight away come back with, "oh no, no, I don't like that either". She can't have an opinion of her own because she wants to agree with M on everything. It's cute but I want W to feel as if she can have her own opinions. When it was just the two of us, W was telling me she didn't like any of the princesses except for Aurora. Then when M came home W was telling her that the only princess they liked was Aurora and M said, "no I don't, I don't like Aurora!" and then W said, "oh yeah, oh yeah, I don't like Aurora either". It makes me sigh in sadness and hope that one day W will stand by her opinions and hold on tight.

My dinner was me sitting in W's room with only a table lamp on, eating carrots, celery and hummus from 7-11, and looking out at the NY city skyline all lit up and beautiful. I would occasionally walk back to the dining room to clear their plates or get them water or wash off their cherries, or pick off their leftovers. Not too shabby for me.

Then we colored a little more before T came for M. M was so nervous but by the time they were done M was in such a good mood and she said she really liked T. I was glad though that she wanted to say goodnight to me. I was worried she would just forget about me once T came. I'm starting to see that these girls rely on me. Today, in the tub, M was saying how she gets a dog when she's 12. She then said, "oh! Hopefully you'll be around for it! You can train it!" I thought it was an extremely sweet idea to stay with them while they grow up and to watch them grow, but the thought of staying with the family for another 4 years made me shudder. Only because if I'm babysitting them full time for the next 4 years, that would mean I wouldn't be in any shows for 4 years. For that reason, I'm sure I will not be there when the dog comes, but I'm jealous for the girl who gets to be there for that. I wish I could travel to Europe with them, like their old nanny did. Mercy goes on the long trips with them but I wish it was me. I think....

It was a longer reading time with W because M was still working with T. I always make W read to me before I read to her. It's fascinating watching a young person learn how to read. Knowing how to read is one of the most important things you need to know to survive, and helping to be responsible for giving that gift to someone is pretty amazing. She will know how to read for the rest of her life, and I helped her learn how to break down the sounds to make a word. She's a really good reader too. When she was reading she came across an elipses and asked me what the dots were. It was really hard trying to explain an elipses to a 5 year-old! She didn't really get it, but that's a big concept for her reading level. I tried my best to explain though.

I created a somewhat awkward situation at bedtime....I was wearing a vneck T-shirt all day and a ballerina necklace that plunged into my neckline. In bed, W was playing with the ballerina...no big deal. Then I pulled my shirt up a little because it was hanging a little low. She asked why I pulled my shirt up and I said, "to be more comfortable". She read right through me and stared me in the eyes and said, "tell me the REAL reason". I thought, oh my god, how does she know that's not the truth?! I told her it was more appropriate for my shirt to be higher. "Why??" "Well, you know, women have breasts..." "What are breasts??" Me, getting flustered, "Okkk, we'll have this conversation another time. When you're older". How does she not know what breasts are?! Now she's gonna go tell her mom I was talking about my breasts. Great.

I felt good about today. I'm relaxing more into the job and it feels more rewarding. Thank goodness.

The Best Day Ever

I wish all days with them could be this good. Today was an example of a great day with the girls.

It started off a bit rushed because I was coming from bikram and I had never timed it out before. I got to the bus stop half an hour early so I scarfed, literally scarfed, down some sushi on a park bench outside, freezing, before going into the school to pick up W. Nothing out of the ordinary- the same mothers I see everyday in the hall. There was one I noticed today that I haven't seen before. She had the largest rock on her finger of anyone I've ever seen, and she mentioned she lives on 88th and 5th ave. Oh my, my, my.

W came out and waddled towards me, not looking happy to see me. This has become an ordinary occurrence, one that I'm not fond of. She drags her feet along while we're walking to 7-11. I find it crazy that she wears cashmere pants underneath her Catholic school uniform and gets the cuffs dirty on the ground. No one seems to care that these are CASHMERE.

I'm trying to teach her manners and how to survive in this world without having everything done for you. I'm trying to do that with both of the girls actually, because I don't want them to grow up and think that they'll never have to carry a bag or open a door in their life. At 7-11, I put my foot down and told W she did not need the big bag of pretzels because she was not going to eat them all. She whined and whined, but I made her settle for the small bag, and she still didn't eat all of them. I won't do anything she asks me to do unless she says please. I asked her to hold the plastic bag with her chocolate milk and her pretzels at the cash register while I was getting other stuff, and she whined at me, "nooooo". You can bet she was holding that bag for even just 20 seconds to prove that she can hold it.

When we got home, the mother was with her personal trainer in the gym in the basement (!!!) and Mercy was picking up M from school so we had the house to ourselves. I wonder if I can use the gym for free...that would save me a lot of money monthly. I could get in really nice with the elevator men and bribe them to let me work out for free. Anyway, W was really sweet once we got home.

I snuck a few cherries from the fridge because I could, and geared up for another day at the house. Mercy, bless her soul, showed me where the coffee was because I needed a big mug of it. Of course, the mother has her own jar of coffee grounds, so I was left with the Folgers instant coffee that you add to hot water. Ew, ew, and ew. Maybe I should invest in some Starbucks via for the house. Full mug of coffee in hand and a few cherries in my belly, I was ready for action.

W wanted to play the nurse/house/assistant game again. I told her I would play if I didn't feel that I was being bossed around and if every activity I was asked to do was accompanied by a "please". It worked pretty well! She would start demanding me to do something as her assistant, and I would give her this look and she would say "please?". I "dusted" the room with a cooking brush. I felt like a 50's housewife, dusting the room and singing "Someone To Watch Over Me". I realized today that I sing there all the time. Maybe because I know the girls like singing and they'll sing along with me if they know the song. It's really fun. M's song of choice for the past few days has been "Under da Sea" from 'The Little Mermaid' and "Zippadeedooda". That was the first song I ever sang at an audition when I was M's age. It's a classic.

I told W I would play the imaginary game with her until her mom came home and then we'd have to work on her activity books and homework. She understood. M came home from school and the mom was still working out. I gave them both cherries for a snack which meant I got to have a couple more. Already, this was a better day than most!

M noticed the second she saw me that something was different about me. She's always been telling me to not wear make-up because she wants to see my natural beauty and says that I don't need make-up to be beautiful. Sweet girl, she is....little does she know...

So the second she saw me she said, "you look younger today". I told her it was because I wasn't wearing any make-up today like she had asked me to. (The only reason I wasn't wearing make-up was because I didn't have time to put it on between shower at yoga and going to pick up W). I asked her if she thought I looked worse without it on and she said no. W, however, gave me a sympathetic look and nodded.

Reminder: always wear make-up.

After the cherries I let M do her homework in W's room sitting next to W. W was coloring a picture of her room for her homework and M was coloring a calendar for her homework project. While coloring, M invited me to her school's show in which they're singing, "Under da Sea". I told her I would love to go but asked if I would be able to. She said enthusiastically, "Yeah! You can! It's for all family members" and I said, "but I'm not a family member" and M said, "Of course you are! You're a part of our family!" My heart= melted. This was ruined once they told me for some reason or another that whatever I did was the cause of a baby on the way. They quoted, "a baby is going to come out of you" I quickly shut out that notion.

When the mom came home the girls were both doing their homework, and very well, I might add. They were happy, I was happy, we were a happy family. Then the mom disappeared for a long time and I didn't see her again until right before dinner. I love that. I felt so left alone to take care of them and it was amazing. I gave them their bath right on time, got them to dinner right on time, got M's homework done right on time, and even had enough time to read 20 minutes of Harry Potter to her before leaving at 8:00pm.

We had an interesting moment in the bath tub tonight....M was sitting up washing her hair, and W slipped under the water and positioned her head right between M's legs. My jaw must have hit the floor. I really had to restrain myself from laughing. W is pretty fascinated with private parts now-a-days. She tickles my butt and I have to tell her she can't touch other people's private parts, only her own. This goes for when she tickles her sister in the va-jay-jay. I have to tell her that is not appropriate, even though she doesn't understand because she's her sister. Oy vey.

We sang together, we colored together, and tonight, for the first night ever, we ate together. The mom heated up their dinner but then didn't sit at the table with them. She and her husband were going out tonight, so she left right before bedtime and Mercy stayed at their house. Poor Mercy. When I left she was still ironing. She's a machine.

After the mom heated up their dinner, she went off to get dressed for her night out, so I got to sneak some of their dish in the kitchen. I also got them yogurt for dessert which was the healthiest dessert they've had thus far. The mom came in at one point to tell M about the tutor she was going to start with tomorrow. M was nervous that she wouldn't be nice and the mother said, "she's very sweet, just like Emma". I was like !!!! That was the first time she had ever acknowledged my hard work or being a nice person. Every time I clear a plate from the table to wash it or I get water for the girls, she says, "thank you, Emma", but this time I felt like I was being appreciated. I was even sitting in the head seat that the mom normally sits in. It was a gold-star moment for me.

Bed time was pretty typical except that the mother wasn't there. M did her homework while I read the fairy book to W. W could be a spoiled little girl all day (which she's not), but the second she rests her head on my shoulder while I'm reading to her, I could forget all about the bad things she's done and just feel at home. I love the feeling of a child or a baby resting their head on you. It's one of the most comforting feelings in the world.

I tucked W in, turned on her audiobook, kissed her on the forehead, and said goodnight. Then I went to read Harry Potter to M for half an hour. I asked Mercy to check on them to make sure they were sleeping after I left, and then I quietly ducked out, and went home.

It was a perfect day.

Nanny Returns

The title of my blog today is a clever play on words for it has 2 meanings: I returned to work today from having the weekend off, and I just started reading "Nanny Returns" today, the sequel to "The Nanny Diaries". More on that later...

I was 20 minutes early to pick up W from school today! Go me! I was too embarrassed to pull out "Nanny Returns" in the school line with lots of other mothers, because seriously, what's more stereotypical than that? Instead I received 4 texts back to back from the mother (dun dun dun) about today's schedule. She was reminding me that W had to meet with her tutor after school today and that M should have her bath before dinner but do her homework between the bath and dinner. There may not be time for me to read to her tonight (shucks) because she would probably have too much homework. I get kind of insulted when the mother doesn't let me figure these things out on my own. I KNEW that W had tutoring after school and I know when M needs to take her bath, so why "remind" me of every detail? It's my job to know these things and be on top of timing...grrr.

We walked in the wrong direction towards 7-11 (my bad, I was wrong about where it was) and I didn't feel like walking back there in the cold, so I took her to one of those small, Asian convenience stores on the corner. Eh. She got a snapple (which she literally took ONE sip of) and a frosted flakes cereal to go. I would make her get healthy snacks if it were up to me, but the mom has already ruined that by giving her sweets for snacks everyday. There's no way I can say to her, "your mom wouldn't let you have that" because her mom WOULD! This is the mom that gives them chocolate eclairs and pumpkin pie for SNACKS! I got a water, sun chips for the immediate time being, and goldfish for later for my dinner. I ended up leaving my goldfish in the waiting room of the tutor so no dinner for me...

I loved today because I got to spend an hour and a half reading in the waiting room at the tutor's. Both of the girls meet with her on Mondays, back to back, so I took W for her 45 minute lesson, and Mercy brought M for her lesson. Then Mercy took W home with her and I waited for M to be done with her 45 minute lesson and then I took her home. I didn't get to give W her bath which is fine, but I was kind of sad when I saw Mercy blow drying her hair. I thought that was my job and it was one of my favorite parts of the day.

I did break out "Nanny Returns" in the lobby which was funny because I'm sure the other mommies and nannies who were waiting for their children to come out being brilliant saw me reading it and smiled a little. It really is just too stereotypical. I almost gasped out loud while reading the book. They talk about the school that the girls go to! I guess some of the characters went to the school where my girls go now. I didn't realize it was such a large school. Also, I went to see my friend in a children's musical Off-Broadway last night and there was a group of kids from the drama department at their school! I very audibly gasped when I heard they were there because I thought my girls were there and I was about to freak. I just need 2 days away. Just 2 and then I miss them.

I've only taken the girls to their tutor's twice but I recognized faces from last week today. What if I develop relationships with the mothers and nannies from the waiting room from seeing them on a weekly basis? That would be sort of cute. I mean I'm going to see the same women once a week for a very long time, so one would assume relationships would come out of that. No?

Today I did a lot of coloring. I like coloring, but mostly only in coloring books because I can't draw for crap. I love coloring books though. I'm really good at shading around the edges and then coloring in more lightly in the middle. I have to say I have a gift for coloring books. While M was doing her homework after her bath, W and I colored. She did some in her activities book that her mom wants her to do. It's not enough to just color- she has to learn while doing so. It's so sad. While coloring, W kept asking me to sing the "quack" song. The "quack" song is the name W has started to call "Rubber Ducky" that I sang to them that first night in the tub. I guess W has really come to like it and so she begs me to sing the "quack" song. That's just so cute, how can I not?! She keeps telling me to sing it out loud, but she means louder. I tell her I'm too shy to sing too loudly in the house and she says she'll sing with me if I sing it more loudly. I do, of course.

Today I didn't mind missing out on dinner because I ate the frosted flakes that W didn't eat and my dark chocolate-covered pretzels while coloring in a picture of Beauty and the Beast. It beat sitting at the dining room table watching them eat and listening to the mother tell them to eat instead of talk. Yet, when I went near the dining room, the mother handed me M's plate to clear away. You can bet I finished off those last 3 orange slices she didn't eat in the kitchen. I did all the dishes, even after I had already moisturized my hands. Oh well. The dad was home for dinner tonight and he was very nice to me. He probably would have thought to offer me food. He never even said goodnight to the girls. He sat with them at dinner and then I never saw him for the rest of the night. It's got to be a cultural thing. Right?? I hope so.

Once the teeth were brushed, the mother read to W while I helped M with her homework. I was sort of glad to not have to read another fairy book tonight. By helping M with her homework, that meant me sitting on her bed doodling on a large notepad and answering M's questions about what I was drawing. I would have to remind her to keep drawing and to not get distracted, but there's not much help I can give when her assignment is to draw her favorite yoga pose. She must have taken 40 minutes making that drawing, but it looked damn good when it was done. Then she read her 20 minutes worth of Junie B. Jones, most of which I was totally spaced out for. I didn't sleep, I just couldn't tell you a single thing that was in that book. I didn't even get to read Harry Potter to her because she read all the way up until 8:00pm which is when I look forward to PEACEing out.

Speaking of peaceing out, I have to get some rest. I'm going to try going to bikram yoga tomorrow morning before picking up W from school. I hope the timing works out.

Oh, Mercy, Mercy Me......

I know I said I wouldn't use names but I don't see the problem in this one....Mercy is the name of their housekeeper who is there literally EVERY day, ALL day. If I thought MY job was hard, hers must be hell. She does the same laborious things every day- does the laundry, folds it and puts it in their rooms, irons, vacuums, washes the floor, cleans the bathrooms and the bedrooms, cleans the kitchen, etc. etc. etc. I don't know how she doesn't pass out from exhaustion.

Mercy is my new favorite person. I adore her. She keeps to herself and doesn't talk much, but when you get her talking she's a riot. I always make a point to say hi every time I see her and to smile every chance I get. She probably needs the pick-me-up. I feel like we're on a team, Mercy and me. We work for the family doing the labor and we share the nanny bedroom. The nanny bedroom is where I'm instructed to leave my purse and my coat and shoes. She irons in there. One time, I went in there to get something from my purse and she was sitting at the desk eating a hamburger and reading the paper. Even Mercy gets time to eat!

Mercy and I bonded today. The mom picked up W from school today (why, I'm not sure) so I was supposed to meet them at the house. Well I got to the house on time but they didn't arrive for 20 more minutes. It was just Mercy and me in the house. I kicked back, put on my obligatory slippers, caught up on texts, and got some water. The only quiet 20 minutes I'll ever have there again.

It was just me and W again all day. M had a birthday party and wasn't getting home until later, so W and I did what we do best- play and giggle. We started to play one of her creative "role-playing" games but her mom came in and preferred her to play with one of her puzzles that will challenge her mentally. It makes me so sad; she is a 5 year-old girl. She's using her imagination which is what they're supposed to do and it wasn't good enough. That child is so smart though. We played a logic game that her mom brought out and she was brilliant at it. All the while, eating her 42 pistachios. I know it was 42 exactly because she counted up all the shells when she was done to find out how many she ate. I had my own stroke of genius when I compared a pistachio to a venus fly trap. Have you ever seen a venus fly trap? And have you ever seen a pistachio? They seriously look like. Now she's had a healthy snack and learned something new at the same time.

I like teaching her new things. The other day I told her about zodiac signs. She was really into it. I don't know much about them so I wasn't the best teacher, but she was into it.

In the middle of playing with the logic puzzle game and eating pistachios, I hear the voice of a very friendly woman at the front door. W runs out to see who it is and the young woman introduces herself as T (name will be excluded). I know the look of a woman like this right away- she is clearly a nanny or something of the sort. She was very friendly and said that W looked beautiful in her dress.... that's my line. I automatically went into suspicious/paranoid mode and thought about all the options of who she could be. Was she going to be the nanny for their weekend house? Did the mother know that I was eating off of their plates and she was going to fire me and replace me with this chick? I got in a very bad mood because I was mad the mother didn't tell me who she was. I felt betrayed. I started asking W if she knew who she was and she had her own theories but didn't really know.

Later, the mother comes into the bedroom and says, "E, can I see you for a minute?" I swear my heart was racing. I thought I was getting fired and replaced. I came to find out that this girl was being hired to be an EXTRA tutor for M because she thought she needed more time for her homework. I mean, are you kidding?? This poor child. So good news, I'm not being replaced. I am kind of sad though that I won't be able to help her with her homework anymore. I really enjoyed that.

Even worse though, was the mother saying to me, "I don't want W to think that you're leaving and this girl is going to start watching her. Would you mind explaining that to her? And don't tell M about this". I said "sure!" and "of course!" when what I wanted to say was, "actually, that's something YOU should break to W, and I won't tell M because I hope that YOU will tell her soon". This was a moment straight out of "The Nanny Diaries".

I tried to explain to W that I wasn't going anywhere and that this new girl would be here some days in the week, but she didn't seem to care. I don't think she was worried in the first place. Now I look like an idiot.

Playtime continued, with more "Bethany the Ballet Fairy" and more games. She tended to her injured bear again, using a little calculator for a thermometer. I thought that was so clever. This is what I mean by using their imagination. Only a child could look at a calculator and think, this will be the thermometer!

I was told that the family was leaving for their weekend house by 6:30 when I'm normally done for the night at 8:00. This meant I was leaving an hour and a half early. I can't say I was too upset about that, but I was upset that she didn't tell me earlier. That's an hour and a half of work that I wasn't getting paid for.

Since the schedule was off for the day, I gave W a bath on her own. It felt lonely without her sister to play with her. I kept her entertained pretty well but she got extra time since it was just her. I got to read her a book while she was in the bath. It reminded me of when I was kid and my dad would play the guitar to me while I was in the bath. If I knew how to play guitar, I would have serenaded her.

Then came my favorite part of the day: blow drying her hair. It was just me, her and Mercy in the house because the mom went to pick up M from her birthday party. I started singing "You'll Never Know", one of the songs from the 1940's cabaret, while drying her hair. The blow dryer was so loud I could hardly hear myself. I guess I was singing a little more loudly than I realized because Mercy came in the room saying, "is that YOU singing?" She totally startled me and I got embarrassed that she could hear me. She said it was beautiful and she wasn't used to hearing singing in the house. She asked if I was an opera singer.

Hahahahahaha.

When I'm a mother, there will be singing in the house ALL the time.

Then I started doing ballet with her since I knew she was in a ballet class. I used one of the posters on her bed as a ballet barre and did some plies and releves with her. I came up with a combination that she really liked for some reason and she ran out to get Mercy to show her. Again, I was embarrassed, but Mercy enjoyed the simple combination. I told you, I adore her.

M came home from school and I was instructed to pack their bags for the weekend house. For real? I put M's homework in her bag and I put vests on the girls and gave them their scarves and hats. I made sure W had enough fairy books in the bag to get her through the weekend. Then their car was waiting outside, I went down in the elevator with them, and then they walked into their car and I onto the subway. They didn't even hug me goodbye.

Hey, weekend.

Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse

Today was off to a better start from the get-go because I was a whole 13 minutes early to pick up W from school. I was so proud of myself when I was one of the first 3 people in line amongst mothers and ONE father to wait outside her classroom. I've decided that I do, in fact, have a little crush on her kindergarten teacher...oh well.


W informed me that her OLD babysitter used to take her to 7-11 everyday after school. Now, let me make something clear right now...I do not like being compared to previous babysitters. I am NOT your old sitter that let you eat crap for snacks and let you take hour baths. I consider myself to be a wonderful nanny and I am fun, but there is a schedule to keep to (not one that I've enforced), so please, do not compare me to your old nanny.

Now that that's out of the way....I ended up taking her to 7-11. I know, I know. I actually wanted to go because a) I could get a snack for myself since I knew I would need to eat later, and b) it took up time that we would be at home with the mother instead. She got a gatorade and a string cheese and I got an organic string cheese and a banana to eat in the taxi, and pretzels for dinner (AGAIN). Lame.

M had to go to her tutor today (whom they call the speech therapist because they don't want it to seem as if she's getting extra help?) so I was home with just W for the majority of the day. Honestly, all we did was play. I stand back sometimes and think, I can't believe I'm getting paid $** an hour to play with a five year-old. It seems like the life but it's pretty tiring. Maybe that's why the mother needs to hire a nanny during the day, so she doesn't get worn out? Nah, I think not.

When we came home I met the cook, a thin Japanese woman. She was making chicken in a large wok on the stove. I figured out how this works- the cook makes all these dishes and then puts them in plastic containers and puts them in the fridge. This way, all the mother has to do for dinner is decide what to feed them and heat it up. How convenient. I was gonna say, I had never seen her cook and I couldn't imagine how she was cooking up all that food in such a short amount of time. It's because she DOESN'T. It's a pretty clever system, I suppose. On a side note, they have 6 burners on their stove. I've never seen a stove with more than 4...they have 6.

W and I had good timing coming home. We came in just as the mother was finishing up her private yoga lesson and receiving her massage. Words cannot say how jealous I was and how badly I wanted to ask if I could get a massage too for all the hard work I've been doing watching her children. She owns the massage table and the yoga balls and she has a trainer/massage therapist come over and they do it all in their living room. Must be nice.

Honestly, for the next 2 1/2 hours we played in her bedroom. We played with logic puzzles, building games for the budding architect, we drew (badly on my end), and then we played "nurse and mother" all from her imagination. It really amazes me to witness a child's creativity at hand. Children are more creative than any of us adults could ever hope to be. I wish we could think as freely as children do and without judgments. One of my main reasons why I love playing with children is because I get to play without abandon and no one is judging me for how I'm playing and acting. I'm not even judging myself.

One of her stuffed animal bears "has an injured leg" so she was the nurse and I was her assistant and I opened imaginary doors with imaginary keys, "washed" the instruments, and "cleaned" the entire room. Then we ate ice-cream cones made out of rolled up drawings. The colors on the drawing represented what flavor our ice-cream was. For some reason, however, mine always tasted like medicine. Once, I was so lucky as to have my ice-cream taste like legos instead. I love when kids say, "ok, now you say...." or "pretend...." and all I have to do is repeat what she said. She tells me what to say, I say it (with enthusiasm), and she acts as if she had no idea I was going to say that. It's just too cute. When I told her I was tired of having to eat medicine-flavored ice-cream and I wanted something that tasted good, I seemed pretty upset about it and said I wanted to be treated fairly, or something along those lines. At first she was playing along with me but then the smile wore off her face and she looked at me seriously and said, "wait, for real?" and I grinned and said no.

I feel very fortunate when I get to babysit for a child who loves books as much as I do and loves being read to. I get to do a lot of reading between these two at bed time, but I love reading books that were my favorite children's books and saying, "oh, I remember this book! I loved this one!!" One certain book brought back lots of nostalgia- "Lilly's Plastic Purple Purse". It is a brilliant children's book and has a really good lesson to it. Other favorites include, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie", "The Very Hungry Caterpillar", "Goodnight, Moon", "The Mitten", and any of the ballet series that comes with a silver necklace with ballet slippers or something of the sort.

M soon came home from her "speech therapist" and it was already bath time. Normally when M comes homes, she has to start her homework right away because she has a lot. What we would think of as a lot is a paper, some reading, some responses to the reading, and some worksheets. For an 8 year-old, a lot of homework is one worksheet and 20 minutes of reading. It takes them much longer to complete their work, obviously.

Anywaaay, the girls always take their bath together which I think is really sweet. They love playing together and they play nicely, thank goodness. The younger one really looks up to the older one and does what she says. It takes me back to the days when I used to convince my younger brother that the smaller bedroom was the better one. It worked, for the record.

Bath time consists of me coming up with games to get them to wash their bodies and their hair because they could spend hours in there just playing. Don't they understand I need them to wash and get out so I have 7 minutes to blow-dry W's hair and 13 minutes to dry M's?? (M's hair is much thicker than W's...it's strange). I never thought I would say this, but I'm jealous of the way their hair looks when it's blow-dried. When I blow dry my hair, it's huge and wavy. When I blow dry THEIR hair, it's silky and straight and not frizzy at all. I want their hair. But not black.


Dinner went the same way...something heated up, me nibbling on pretzels in the other room, and then sneaking food off of their plates in the kitchen while I was supposed to be washing them. Look, 6 hours is a long time to go without eating. It's not right.

I read Bethany the Ballet fairy to W before bed and more of Harry Potter to M. I love reading Harry Potter because I can do all the voices. I think my voice of the one that Harry hears in his head was a little too scary though. It was a bit much for someone that's about to go to bed. She probably had nightmares about that one.

I'm realizing that these posts are making me sound like a horrible nanny. I promise that I'm not.

Dishes, what?!

It's 2:15am and I'm exhausted, but I am determined to update my blog every night and I will be damned if I ruin that on the second day.

Today surely had some ups and downs. I took a new route to the school to pick up W which included the bus, i.e. SLOOOOOW. School lets out at 2:00. I was there by 2:07 and W was standing there leaning against a pole, looking awfully pathetic, the only child left from her classroom. I felt like an idiot and apologized profusely for being late and assured her that tomorrow I would be early. Her teacher (young and male, probably gay but cute), said, "there's your babysitter!" and I'm sure released a sigh of relief when he realized he didn't have to make any phone calls asking who was picking up this poor child.

We hail a taxi to her ballet class which is conveniently also on the Upper East side where her school is. This was one of the highlights of my day. Dressing her in her pink tights and pink leotard and pink flowery headband made me so nostalgic for when I did ballet as a little girl. I wanted nothing more than to put on my leotard and tights and take a class too. She looked so adorable and didn't care at all that she was going to class; it was simply what she did on Wednesday afternoons. I couldn't help but watch through the large windows and smile for the majority of the 45 minute class.

It's funny the conversations one overhears between the mothers while they're watching their precious children during class. First of all, most of these mothers have more fashionable boots than I do and are all looking quite frantic between getting their daughter dressed for class and in on time, and making sure they eat their healthy snack while cramming them into their leotards. It was a relief to know that I was more together than they were. There were the mothers talking to each other about the various classes they have their children signed up for, and then there were the nannies who were waiting around looking bored, and then there were the Hispanic and African nannies who were pushing around little ones in strollers and speaking to "their" children in their language, so as to make the children bilingual, no doubt. Smart parents.

The 45 minutes went by too quickly and I was in desperate need of coffee. So, what did we do? Go right across the street to Starbucks so I could get my grande sugar free caramel coffee and she could get a piping hot Earl Gray tea. What pissed me off more than anything was the women around me who were trying to tell me what was right for the girl because I was clearly too young to know anything about caring for children. The woman behind the cash register tried telling me I should get her iced tea because the teas are all 200 degrees. I told her the mother always orders her hot tea and I would just carry it. Then the lady in glasses with the perfectly curled hair in line behind me said, "I would suggest getting her a decaf tea" once she heard that W wanted Earl Gray which I guess has caffeine in it. She was probably right, but I was so upset over her telling me how to order for her that I said, "this is what her mother gives her at home" and that shut her up.

The starbucks trip ended up being a big FAIL. Here I am, carrying W's backpack on my forearm with my coffee in one hand and her piping hot tea in the other. So how am I going to hail a taxi when I have a hot drink in each hand a backpack or a purse on the arm? Together we hailed a taxi, and upon climbing into the taxi, the lid of my hot coffee naturally fell off onto the street, causing me to have to pour a good amount of my perfectly good coffee onto the street with it so that it wouldn't spill on the car ride. I have a cup with no lid now, and another that is completely burning my hand. It was by far the most stressful cab ride I've ever had. Every bump made me hold my breath as I was praying for the hot liquid to not spill over and burn my hands.

Once we finally arrived at the apartment, the doorman opened the taxi door for us and took W's backpack and the hot tea from me. Bless him. I'm feeling like an incompetent nanny who doesn't know how to juggle more than one thing at once. I don't like that feeling.

I had a surprise when I got home- the mother was there. She had told me she wasn't going to be home until dinner time so I was excited at the thought that I might to get to eat something tonight, but ohhh noooo. I built legos with the girls, then helped M with her homework. That girl has so much pressure on her to do amazingly at all of her work she has. It's such a cultural difference. Bath time was another one of my favorite times of the day. Out of nowhere, M said, "we are so lucky to have you" and W agreed and said, "yeah, we like you much more than [insert old nanny's name here]!" This made all the bad things feel better and I thought, even if I'm not treated very well by the mother, these girls need me and I will be there for them to challenge them and make them laugh everyday. Then I was singing Ernie's "Rubber Ducky" to them and M said in utmost sincerity, "you have such a beautiful voice". I couldn't stop smiling at how they can take the simplest thing and turn it into something special and beautiful.

After bath time is my other favorite part of the day with them- blow drying their hair. It seems as if it should be annoying that I have to blow dry their hair until it is absolutely dry, but it's a very maternal feeling and I love it. They sit down and play with legos or draw while I run through their hair with a brush and a blowdryer. It makes me feel closer to them. I also don't have to talk for the whole 20 minutes because it's too loud to talk over. I just look out the window at the amazing skyline and marvel over how I get to live here.

Once they're in their pajamas and their hair is dry, I make sure to put away the legos to I won't be asked to do it again while they're eating their dinner. I had brought pretzels with me because I knew I wasn't going to be offered dinner again. The girls are eating this amazing smelling chicken and rice dish with vegetables, and I'm nibbling on pretzels in the other room. I think I managed to eat a total of 5 pretzels for dinner...not too bad! Then I sat down at the table with them (the mother sits with them and makes sure that they eat) and I'm sitting for no longer than 2 minutes when the mother says, "Emma, you may go in the kitchen and start cleaning up now. Otherwise, you won't have time later. I'll stay here with them". I said cheerfully,"Oh, of course!" and glared ahead as I walked into the kitchen to "clean". By cleaning, she means put the dishes into the dishwasher. Oh yeah, that takes sooo much time. The girls are on to their dessert now and the mother cleared their plates into the kitchen. So what do I do? I scarf down the chicken and the vegetables in the kitchen while making sure the mother cannot see me. So along with 5 pretzels, I was so lucky to get 3 pieces of chicken and 2 green beans. Lucky me.

After dinner is another favorite time of mine because all I have to do is read to them. This is actually a lot of reading because I read to W for half an hour and M for 40 minutes. With W we're reading the Rainbow Fairies series...not a favorite of mine. With M, however, we're reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I look forward to this every night. I love reading this again and remembering what a good series it is. Once their reading time is up, I tuck them in and say goodnight.

The most depressing aspect of this for me is that the mother is HOME. Why am I the one reading to them and putting them to bed? If I was the mother and I was home for their bedtime, I would WANT to be the one that says goodnight. The father comes home before their bedtime sometimes and he doesn't even say hello to them. The girls hear him come home and don't jump out of bed to wrap their arms around his neck and say "daddy!!" It makes me want to cry. This whole lifestyle is so different from most children's experiences, I'm assuming. It's definitely different from mine and the other little girl I used to babysit.

Then I proceed to turn off their lights, take off the slippers I've been wearing around the house all day, pick up my cash for the day off the side table, and leave quietly, to say goodnight to the elevator man and the doorman, and back into the cold to get on the subway.